It feels so good to laugh and, laughter is so is good for you    Norman Cousins watched Charlie Chaplin movies to conquer the pain of his illness; studies show that laughter produces endorphins that block pain.  My former yoga teacher ended each class with the laughing asana where the class stood  in a circle and laughed and yet, according to this clown I know (an actress/mom who moonlights as a clown) most people don’t  laugh even ten times a day.  Why not?  It’s easy, it’s free, it’s fun, its better than a tranquilizer or a glass of champagne  and there are countless things to laugh at once you become open to the idea.

You can even laugh at nothing, just laugh for the sake of laughing.  Interestingly enough, your body doesn’t know the difference; it still produces those happy little endorphins.

I tell myself jokes, I really do.   I have a few favorite jokes  and, when I’m feeling sad, angry, mad, depressed, tired, when I’m unhappy because something has gone wrong or someone has done or said something hostile or I’m stuck in traffic or problems seem overwhelming or— (the list could go on and on) I mentally pull a joke out of my collection, tell it to myself and, suddenly, I’m laughing!  It sounds so simple, but it works.  The following jokes have never failed to make me smile, laugh and laugh harder.   The first is  from my daughter Carrie.  I claim no credit for the others but unfortunately,  I can’t remember where I heard or read them so I can’t credit their creator but whoever you are, thank you.

1-  –Two peanuts were walking in an alley; one was assaulted!  (a—salted)

2–     An airline steward was taking dinner orders.  She approached a gentlemen passenger.  “Sir,” she asked, would you like dinner”?

” Well, let me see,” the gentlemen replied, “ what are my choices?”
The steward looked at him. “Yes,’ she said, “or no.”

3- Two  friends had been playing bridge for years.  One day, one of them looked thoughtfully at the other and said,  “You know, this is terrible but I can’t remember your name”

The second one looked up and frowned, “ How soon do you have to know”?

“ How soon do you have to know”?

4        A man was having his 96th birthday.  The doorbell rang.  He opened the door and a beautiful young girl was standing on the porch.

“Happy Birthday” she said.  “I’m here to give you super sex.”

The man thought for a minute.

”Hmmm,” he said, “I’ll take the soup”

5– Two cannibals were eating a clown; one of them said to the other—“does your food taste funny?”

6    Two cannibals were eating dinner.  One of them said, “I hate my mother-in-law”, the other one answered, “try the potatoes”

7  Question–         How do you catch a wild unique?

Answer—           Unique up on it.  

Question…           How do you catch a tame unique?

Answer                 The tame way  

Explanation                 if you really  don’t get it.

(say it fast, it sounds like “you sneak up” and the “same” way

8   (My favorite) a wealthy couple owned a very smart talking parrot but the only words the parrot could say were “Polly wants a cracker”.  One night the couple put the parrot in his cage, covered it and went out to dinner.  The parrot was just falling asleep when he heard some strange noises.  He carefully picked up the cover, peeked out and saw two robbers stealing the silver and other valuables.  The parrot very, very quietly opened the door of his cage, hopped out and tiptoed across the room, hopped up on the counter, knocked the receiver off the telephone, and with his beak, dialed 9-1-1.  A voice answered, “Police emergency”.  The parrot opened his little beak, struggled and finally was able to croak….”Polly—wants—a –cracker.

Okay, I know the jokes are silly and corny but…are you  laughing or at least,  smiling a little?   That’s the point!

 

 

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