There are  things I do really well like writing a mystery play or baking killer brownies or sun-bathing at the beach; there are things I  do medium well like line dancing or swimming the breast -stroke or polishing my nails and there are even things I do passably well like typing or playing scrabble or clothes shopping but…..there are things I don’t do well at all and most of them are computer related.

I don’t understand how to refresh a page or download music or change the margins or copy a picture and a hundred other things I don’t even know that I don’t know how to do until the issue suddenly arises and I’m stuck.   I try to figure out whatever it is; I experiment and, I confess, I sometimes express my frustration with loud exclamations.

“I can’t do this! I don’t understand! Darn (I might possibly use a stronger curse word) this stupid computer!”  I’ve even, once or twice, cried real tears as the computer refuses to do (or not do)  what I want and that’s when I sometimes make the fatal mistake of asking for help or moaning so loudly that my long-suffering bf in the next room grudgingly offers to help.  I should mention that he is a computer guru, almost a genius;  he can make a computer do anything and everything he wants and if he doesn’t know how to do something he can figure it out or make the computer tell him how to do it.

“It’s simple,” he says as he stands over my shoulder assessing the problem. “you pushed the wrong button over there.    Okay, all you have to to is  (pick one), click here, scroll there, sign into that box, delete those boxes, open these tabs, refresh that, upload this, download that, right click on that box,  double click over there, copy that.   See.  It’s simple. Have you got it?”

Of course I haven’t got it.   I don’t have any idea what he did or even what language he’s speaking.   I know I should write down what he is saying but I’m scared to ask him to slow down and repeat because, like me, patience is not one of his virtues.

I vow that I will never ask for help again or moan (or curse) out loud; I promise myself that I will bravely soldier through whatever problems—oh wait! The computer froze; The cursor won’t move. Help!!!!